Many of you don’t know me— been around here since 7/08. My story is a sad one, that breaks my heart— and I’ll no doubt sob as I type it. Having lived life as a chubster, I decided in June ‘08 to finally conquer my demons once and for all. I found My Fitness Pal on 7/22 and I never looked back.
I vowed to take off 50 pounds by my 45th birthday in June of ‘09. And while I’d come up a wee short, by the end of August ‘09 I had taken off 47 pounds. Pictures are on my profile— for the first time in my life I was fit, and wonderfully active and healthy.
My exercise consisted of TaeBo, Turbo Jam, and I began to run, entering 5k races, and I decided in the winter of ‘09 to train for a half marathon, to be held in ‘9/10.
Through it all, I faithfully counted calories, and because I was still not yet at goal, faithfully stayed at 1400 calories. I am anal about counting all calories, and would go so far as to measure and log my coffee cream. At last count, I have, I believe, the longest “faithful logging” period on here— at 423 days, and counting. 423 solid days of logging my food, exercising faithfully, and making myself accountable to a small, lovely, strong and inspirational core group of friends here.
What’s the problem, you ask???
Well, to try and make my long story short, in the fall of ‘09, weight began to accumulate around the midsection. I was on medicine for psoriatic arthritis, and thought it may be due to that, so took myself off the medicine. I’d rather have pain and swelling from the arthritis than put on my hard fought weight!
But, the problem persisted. By March of ‘10 I was up 10 pounds. By the end of June, 20. I went to doctor after doctor, seeking help— thyroid? Ovarian cancer? Cushing’s Disease? I cried in office after office, showing them my pictures of summer of ‘09, and of my diet and exercise logs, trying to prove to them that I wasn’t just some old hormonal lying nut, sneaking food and looking for an excuse.
Doctor after doctor blew me off. I was finally diagnosed with mild hypothyroid, and hashimoto’s disease— which accounts for some of the problem. However, my TSH numbers are now good, and the weight still won’t budge.
I’m now 35 pounds up from my lowest. My food diary is pristine. My exercise log shows my faithfulness. So what the hell??
Endocrinologist, in layman’s terms, told me basically I had put my body into starvation mode. My body needed more fuel than I was giving it. 1400 calories for that long was death to my body, whose genes wanted to be fat. I come from big stock— everyone in my family is obese. That’s what my body wanted to do.
And with the lack of calories, and hard core exercises— weight training, half marathon training, Insanity, P90x— I shut down my metabolism.
he’s not sure I’ll ever get it back. But, what I’ve begun is to put myself on a 2100 calorie base, and let my body know that there IS enough fuel. It’s not starving. And I hope to turn the tide.
Please, please, please DO NOT starve yourself. While I was within the guidelines, I was not giving myself enough to live on, and my body rebelled. It devastates me— I worked so hard to get it off, and now I’m up 4 sizes. I have no idea if or when I’ll ever see my old clothes again, and it is gut-wrenching…pardon the pun.
So when you hear of starvation mode here and there, scoff at it at your own peril.
I’m living it.
almostbikiniready said: *my keyborad is messed up and missing buttons so i apologize for te grammer/spelling:
tank you, tank you for tat last post, it meant eeryting to me
your welcome :)
Everyday, we all have things that happen to us that are unexpected or can take us away from our routine of exercise and healthy eating. We may find ourself stuck somewhere, where the only available food is a vending machine or perhaps the power is out at the gym and you had to miss your class that helps your burn those extra calories. Sometimes other things happen such as a fight with someone you really love and all you want to do is curl up with a bowl of ice cream or that bottle of wine… I get it..
I just want to tell you that its okay. Its okay to go over once in awhile in a category (i.e. calories, fat, sodium) that you have been watching with such dedication. It is okay to have a day where you just don’t want to think about the choices you make. We ALL have those days and no one out there is 100% perfect with their choices, just ask them.
What I do ask is for you to stop calling these days “bad days”. They are not bad days…they are just days. They are amazing days that you need to live every day. Your days should not be defined by the food you eat but by the way you life your life.
I find it heart breaking when I read some things where people just say “oh chalk it up to a bad day..” No! It’s not a bad day when you didn’t have a great day of food. Sure, you can have a bad day if Murphy’s Law is kicking you in the butt, but by no means is it a bad day if you miss your work out or if your dinner happens to be high in calories in sodium. These are days and not everyday is going to be perfect. Not every week will you see the scale move and not every month will you end with amazing numbers, but you can find something amazing about everyday and know that today was just a good day.
So if you feel that your day is terrible because you decided that donut in the office kitchen some how ended up in your mouth, then take a step back and realize that your day hasn’t been ruined and perhaps you and that donut can work it out so you don’t cross paths again. Just stop saying its a bad day..it isn’t. You all have so much love and life to let one day of eating “poorly” to get to you that much.
I just binged on a bagel and baked chips.
onetinywish-deactivated20110903 said: Hi :) LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog! Seriously, it's so smart and inspiring.
Could I please have your prog blog pw too?
Oh, and how old are you?
Thank you, dear! I’m 19. :)
I eat a very healthy vegan diet. I also exercise 45 min in the gym everyday.
I really like the premise of this, but at least where I live, produce is a bit more expensive than that.
- Being a vegan isn’t that bad. :)
- Black coffee isn’t too bad either.
healthybitch said: Hey babe, you really inspired me. I open a new Tumblr because of you! Really. I'm sorry if some stuffs are similar as yours D: sorry.
They says that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, ;)